What does the term “objectum sexuality” mean to you?
Objectum-Sexuality is a natural inclination to develop meaningful and significant relationships to objects that possess a particular uniqueness in the eye of the beholder. In other words, people who joke about falling in love with a toaster or a pencil miss the point that OS people generally find something distinct in the object that attracts them. If your lover had 10,000 twins, he or she might not be so appealing.
How many objectum-sexuals do you think there are?
There are now more than 100 OS people from different countries who have been identified, and more are stepping forward as OS is becoming more understood.
Do you consider OS a fetish, an orientation, or something else?
OS is indeed an orientation. I can see it no other way as it is so natural for me to feel this way. A fetish implies that the object I love is merely present in my life as a means to an end for sexual stimulation and gratification. The relationships I develop with objects may entail a level of intimacy, but the necessity to have intimacy does not define my relationship as having more or less value than a relationship without it.
When did you discover that you are an OS?
It wasn’t until I reached my teens that I realized other people did not relate the same way to objects. While other girls were interested in boys, my thoughts were focused on a Bridge. Even so, I did not feel any pressure to try to be like the other girls until my mother caught me sleeping with an object and jumped straight to the wrong conclusion. While it was cute when I was younger, as a teenager, holding tight to an object while sleeping was now considered taboo.
Once I felt the condemnation for doing what I thought was natural, only then did I question and in turn realize I was different. From this point I made every effort to fit in and conform to the sensibilities of others. However, this only served to hurt me and those I was attempting to make a relationship with. So I went underground.
Did you have to come out of the closet, as it were, or have you always been pretty out-and-out about it?
For so long I was content if I could get through the day without my guise wearing thin, and people learning the truth about my inclination to connect to objects.
When I eventually discovered there were others like me who also felt the same isolation, I came out. I don’t want others to feel the forlorn feeling I have experienced. I live out loud now, but to have this simple freedom that most take for granted pained me dearly to get to this point.
In your interview with Good Morning America, you talk about having loved your bow (with which you became the two-time world champion), an F-15, and of course the Eiffel Tower. Are there other objects you’ve been close with?
Yes, I had a very spiritual relationship to a 250-year-old Japanese sword which propelled me to move to Japan and delve into the way of the Samurai. I overcame various hurdles to be accepted into this exclusive world and eventually became a world champion in the art of Iai Batto Jutsu.
I have also had a very longstanding relationship (since 1986) with the Berlin Wall. It was because of these feelings that I was able to identify with Eija-Riitta Eklöf Berliner-Mauer, who married the Berlin Wall in 1979. When I read her words—which might have appeared as a joke to some—I knew they were true because of my own feelings for the old communist icon. This was my first true comprehension that I was not alone. Though she did not respond to my emails in the early days, I joined her online group. No one was communicating at that time, and it was hard to discern if anyone in the group was actually OS. But then I got an invite to join a German OS community and this is where I found my first connection to others like me. I flew to Germany to meet them and later to Sweden, where I finally made contact with Eija-Riitta.
Due to the struggles I went through, I started OS Internationale and created an international forum for people to step forward and affirm their orientation.
Are you an animist?
First I must give some background info before I answer your question…
The main reasons for falling in love with an object are divided by two divergent groups of OS people. The Animist objectum-sexuals constitute the least outspoken because many have normal social functioning and divulging their love of objects stands to disrupt their otherwise accepted social standing. It is the spiritual energy of the object that captivates the Animist OS.
The second group is those who have Asperger’s Syndrome, or high functioning autism, which disrupts normal social functioning. These Asperger’s OS connect to very particular objects, and that creates a comfort zone which they are averse to changing. This group is more willing to speak out as there is a strong obsessive compulsion towards anything relating to their object of interest. This is why there are more public cases of AS OS verses Animist OS.
I am Animist OS and there are very few that speak out, so most people assume we are all Asperger’s sufferers.
In what ways is your relationship with the Eiffel Tower like any other relationship? In what ways is it unique?
There is a sense of oneness that I feel when I am with the Eiffel Tower. As though we are connected and I am part of her vast structure of iron trusses. There is a resonation that I feel when I am with her that I am sure other relationships have as well. Though the physical mechanics of the relationship vary considerably from that of orthodox human relationships, I believe the spiritual connection is similar.
My relationship is unique in that it is not like any others. It is ours and ours alone. Our connection is not dictated by rules of happiness that are so often engaged by others in the spirit of trying to make things right with the consensus. People tell me I can’t be happy loving a Tower or a Wall, yet what makes me happy cannot be defined by others, especially when no one is being hurt or denied. My love for objects has propelled me to great heights in my life and given me positive momentum. One who says that I am not truly happy is a person who has never walked in my shoes.
What are your favorite memories of your wedding day?
Everything seemed to be going wrong on that morning. The train was delayed and then the lines were ever so long. The place I originally chose to have the ceremony was clogged with tourists, and it seemed as though the day would be fraught with difficulty after difficulty. But then I just stopped and looked over the edge from the second platform. I took a breath and realized that nothing mattered other than my heart. I had already made the devotion to La Tour Eiffel. Everything else was just an outward visual display demonstrating my commitment. Once I realized that there was nothing really standing in the way, everything fell into place. I looked back and there was a perfect location. From then it just flowed as though these plans had been set for a thousand years.
You refer to the Tower as “she” and “her.” I’m not really sure what question I have, in that I don’t guess you self-identify as a lesbian or as gay, but can you tell me more about your spouse’s gender?
The pronoun is not dictated by me but is the language in which I communicate. To say “it” in the English language denotes an unfeeling inanimate thing. The choice to refer to La Tour Eiffel as “she” comes from the direct translation from French. Also, Eiffel is considered the Grand Madame of Paris and I feel it is very suitable as she presents an air of dignity and grace.
It is not possible for me to apply the idea of gender to an object as the object has no genitalia. So given this, I do not see myself in a hetero or homosexual relationship. Simply, I am in a relationship.
I will say that I do tire of the insistence that I have wed the world’s most stunning phallus. However, the “fallacy” is in the fact that I do not see the male bits as anything more than a part of a man’s anatomy. They hold no favor in my eyes and I therefore do not relate any object to human anatomy.
What do you say to the contention, made by some sexologists and psychologists, that many objectum-sexuals are autistic and/or victims of abuse?
I have answered this for the most part in prior questions. There are indeed a decent percentage of OS people who are also Asperger’s Syndrome but there are no cited cases that OS stems from abuse.
Perhaps there is a link to the abuse I suffered as a child, but whether there is or isn’t I would not ask to be helped or changed because I am complete and I am happy and see no reason to fix something that is not broken.
I will say that if OS is holding a person back in their life, then perhaps they need some form of counseling. But that goes for mainstream relationships as well.
If I have my facts straight, you may have the oldest, tallest, most valuable, and most lightning-struck spouse in history. Gustave Eiffel said she gives “a great impression of strength and beauty.” Is that more or less how you feel about her?
Here is this gorgeous tower… she is surrounded by people in love… everyday… in love. But they are in love with each other, not her. La Tour Eiffel called out to me from this crowd. I heard her because I just happen to have the antenna that picked up her distress signal. Why me, I don’t know. Surely others besides myself and Gustave Eiffel have noted her remarkable presence and energy in this world. Yet most see her for her purpose—and to that purpose they hold her and will never let her pierce deeper places in their soul.
I never wanted to love a public object again because of the complexities involved. But my heart was decided and life is too short to argue.