IStock Photo 2443894 © marco testa

“My dog ate it” doesn't work so well as an excuse in college, where most students live in dorms and can't keep pooches. Fortunately there are plenty of other extenuating circumstances undergrads can plead when they’re late with a paper or unprepared for an exam—excuses that range from lame to morbid.

A St. John’s University study found male students were more likely to use fraudulent excuses than female students, but not by much—75% vs. 70%. Fully 25% of American college students admit they have made up a phony excuse four or more times.

Here is Book of Odds’ list of the Top 9 Fraudulent College Excuses.

9. “My best friend died.” Only 1 in 126.7 students have used this excuse, but if we extrapolate the study to the total U.S. college student population as estimated by the Census Bureau, it suggests more than 125,000 students have falsely claimed BFF loss as an excuse for academic unpreparedness.

8. “My grandma [or grandpa] died.” One hopes that the 1 in 31.67 students who’ve used this excuse don’t fall into the “used it four or more times” category.

7. “I left my paper in the dorm room.” That’s the excuse of 1 in 14.62 students.

6. “I wasn't here.” The odds a student 18 - 22 enrolled in college has claimed to be out of town when the assignment was made are 1 in 13.1. What, no required attendance?

5. “I overslept.” 1 in 6.44 students have claimed oversleeping or alarm clock failure. Might we hope kids who’ve made it to college would at least get a little more creative in their deceptions?

4. “Computer failure.” Overall, 1 in 5.59 students have used this excuse, but boys use it less often than girls. Maybe the guys are more embarrassed to admit that their equipment has let them down.

3. “I don't get it.” The odds a student 18 - 22 enrolled in college has used not understanding the assignment as a fraudulent excuse are 1 in 4.81. Pleading stupidity when you’re in college sounds, well, pretty stupid, yet it’s the third most popular fraudulent excuse, used in nearly equal measure by male and female students.

2. “Family emergency.” Another old standby, this one is appealingly vague, and hard to challenge without sounding like you’re prying. 1 in 3.84 students have tried this excuse, and, again, it’s another favorite of females, who use it at more than twice the rate males do.

1. “I was sick.” The odds a student 18 - 22 enrolled in college has used personal illness as a fraudulent excuse are 1 in 2.68. Illness is the most popular excuse among both sexes, but it’s a special favorite of female students, 1 of 4.22 of whom have pled “under the weather” as compared with only 1 in 7.31 males.

And they say NCAA basketball players have issues.