IStock Photo 7169474 © kutay tanir

Say what you will about Valentine’s Day—it’s hyper-commercialized, it’s cruel to those who are alone and not happy about it, it’s rooted in a barbaric pagan ritual—the hearts-and-flowers holiday does inspire a lot of giving. Although just 1 in 66.67 adults considers Valentine’s Day to be his or her favorite holiday, some 180 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged every year, not to mention gigavases of flowers and untold boxes of chocolate.

And as every drugstore shopper knows, even greeting cards aren’t such trivial expenses any more.

But how much of this thoughtfulness is merely obligatory sentiment, and how much represents true generosity of spirit? Other than a small chunk of our paycheck, what would we really sacrifice for the one we love? The answer turns out to be: a whole lot, and possibly everything.

Since it hurts to see a loved one in pain, maybe it’s not too surprising that most adults would take one on the chin for their paramours. The odds an adult 30 - 49 will report he or she would rather suffer than let his or her loved one suffer are 1 in 1.11—that’s 90%. Almost as many would “endure all things” for the sake of the one he or she loves: 1 in 1.27 (79%). That’s strong stuff. Even younger people (age 18 - 29), whom we might expect to be more self-focused, come in at 1 in 1.32 (76%) in this extreme measure.

We wouldn’t just take the pain, though—we’d also give up our own heart’s desires. The odds an adult 30 - 49 will report he or she is willing to sacrifice his or her wishes for his or her loved one’s are 1 in 1.2—83%. Folks 65 and up are even more willing to do so, at 1 in 1.14 (88%). Perhaps they’ve grown even more giving. Or maybe they just have fewer dreams left unfulfilled.

All this altruistic feeling may be rooted in something a lot more selfish, though—our own happiness. The odds an adult 30 - 49 will report he or she cannot be happy unless the one he or she loves is happy are 1 in 1.41—71%. They’re even higher for the 65-and-older set: 1 in 1.2 (83%). The ties that bind seem to really, really bind; if you suffer, I suffer. If you’re happy, I’m happy. The older we get, the more we’d be willing to sacrifice. And if you’re buying me a Valentine’s Day present—well, I guess I’d really better go out and buy you one too.