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Daily Life & Activities / Entertainment & Media

Lindsay Lohan and Tiger Woods: Resolutions for a Scandal-Free 2010

Posted By: Rosalind Wright

Tagged As: Holidays, New Year's, New Year's resolutions, Tiger Woods, Lindsay Lohan

IStock Photo 4796780 © davidf

Here at Book of Odds, we don’t pretend to know what really goes on in the lives of the rich and infamous. But based on news reports—and our knowledge of the odds of human behavior—we’ve proposed 10 helpful New Year’s resolutions for Lindsay Lohan and Tiger Woods, the winners of the 2009 Bad Behavior Award.

LINDSAY LOHAN

1. Don’t drink and tweet

The odds a person 18 - 34 uses Twitter to send messages are 1 in 25.

2. Keep those racy photos to yourself

The odds a woman 20-26 has ever sent sexually suggestive content to someone she knows only online are 1 in 6.67.

3. Stay away from celebrity husbands

The odds an ever-married or cohabiting man has cheated during the relationship are 1 in 4.76.

4. Curb the clubbing

The odds an adult 18 - 29 will go to a bar almost daily are 1 in 111.1.

5. Take up a new hobby

The odds a woman will think about sex at least once a day are 1 in 7.69.

6. Actually try to solve the world’s problems

The odds a donor in Generation Y is motivated to give by a desire to address world problems are 1 in 4.2.

7. Put down those jewels

The odds a reported larceny-theft will result in an arrest are 1 in 5.03.

8. Show up for class

The odds an adult 18 - 29 has alcohol abuse disorder are 1 in 14.08.

9. To get more work, scrub that profile

The odds an adult who uses the Internet has ever searched for information about someone he or she is thinking about hiring or working with online are 1 in 9.09.

10. Think twice about any more tattoos

The odds an adult with a tattoo ever regrets getting it are 1 in 6.25.

TIGER WOODS

1. No more cheating

The odds an ever-married or cohabiting man has cheated during the relationship are 1 in 4.76.

2. Don’t discuss married sex with your mistress

The odds a man with a sexually traditional partner would like more adventure in the bedroom are 1 in 2.08.

3. Remember, men are worse drivers than women

The odds a female licensed driver will be involved in a motor vehicle accident resulting in injury in a year are 1 in 77.38.

The odds a male licensed driver will be involved in a motor vehicle accident resulting in injury in a year are 1 in 59.92.

4. And golf clubs make dangerous weapons

The odds a golfer will be injured playing golf in a year are 1 in 644.

5. Don’t mix drugs and alcohol

The odds a person will die from an accidental poisoning in a year are 1 in 10,870.

6. Stop texting (and sexting) your mistresses

The odds an adult 30 - 49 who owns a cell phone uses it for text messaging are 1 in 2.7.

7. No more sleeping with porn stars, reality TV contestants, your waitresses, Las Vegas lingerie models, or anyone who’s slept with George Clooney.

The odds a married male 15 - 44 has had 3 or more female sexual partners in the past year are 1 in 40.

8. Always wear a condom

The odds a male 15 - 44 used a condom during his last sexual encounter are 1 in 2.53.

9. Go for “the test”

The odds a male 15 - 44 has not been tested for HIV or other STDs in the past year are 1 in 1.26.

10. When you pop an Ambien®, go straight to sleep

The odds an adult takes medication prescribed by a doctor to help him or her sleep at least a few nights a week are 1 in 20.

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